Me, Myself, and I:
Oedipus hasn't been home too often. I'm not afraid of him reading what I wrote, but we respect each other's privacy. We wouldn't go into each other's belongings - I've never gone through his personal letters or diary entries and I know he would never go through mine. We're a sort of 'unique' couple in the sense that we do things together, but we know the times at which we can separate and do things ourselves. It's nice to have the independence along with knowing that someone's got your back no matter what.
Everything seems to be going wrong...maybe someone dropped a hint about something (but I don't know what this something would be). I have absolutely nothing to hide, it's not like I've done anything wrong, so I don't think he would turn on me for something that I haven't done wrong. Please make it better, please restore our relationship to what it used to be.
We've been so close for four years and I just...I just don't know what's happening now. Because it's now that he's starting to distance himself for some reason? But I haven't been doing anything differently - maybe he's thinking about taking it a step further and isn't willing to tell me?
- Jocasta
Friday, 24 January 2014
Sunday, 19 January 2014
Palmistry Update
I visited the palmister and he didn't tell me a word of what I wanted to hear. Not even a word. God, I regret going. It wasn't anything I expected and it was ten times worse than something like that should be like. No, I can't live like this...oh my god.
Oh The Olympians, if I ever - ever did anything nice to you, please, please, help me get out of the mess I am in. I'll even find a cow or a sheep to sacrifice for you, Apollo - or Artemis. Ares? Zeus? Poseidon? Is anyone here to help? PLEASE? Can anyone help....
*breathe in, breathe out* I shouldn't take this to heart, but the palmister hardly even had to look at my palm before he declared my horrible future. He told me that I would have a very hard future ahead of me and that I would marry my sister and kill my father. How I react to the fact will depend on how I make the decision - either I can lose my sister and father forever, or I'll know they'll have my back for a lifetime. Who on earth could survive or think even remotely straight if they were told about this horrible fact.
This is insane - I go from being the only child, the only offspring from some bitch who let me go, to someone who has a long-lost sister who just so happens to meet in the same place, and get together with each other. I can't accept that. That's absolutely crazy! I'm still trying to find my mother, but how the hell can I find her if I have absolutely no idea where to even start looking! And now I've got a father and a sister to find too?!
I SHOULDN'T BLOODY BELIEVE THIS KIND OF THING. I can't believe it! I don't! I'm a fucking scientist! I'm supposed to be studying science and believing in science, not magical things like reading palms and relying on such readings. I shouldn't be such an idiot, and yet...somehow, I am. How? Why can't I convince myself otherwise? I should be able to. Why can't I ever?
I feel almost unstable thinking about the fact that someone thought that, that was what I was destined to do. I can't even place my feelings in words, I'lll...you know, I don't know what I'll do, but whatever I need isn't on this kind of thing...bye.
Oh The Olympians, if I ever - ever did anything nice to you, please, please, help me get out of the mess I am in. I'll even find a cow or a sheep to sacrifice for you, Apollo - or Artemis. Ares? Zeus? Poseidon? Is anyone here to help? PLEASE? Can anyone help....
*breathe in, breathe out* I shouldn't take this to heart, but the palmister hardly even had to look at my palm before he declared my horrible future. He told me that I would have a very hard future ahead of me and that I would marry my sister and kill my father. How I react to the fact will depend on how I make the decision - either I can lose my sister and father forever, or I'll know they'll have my back for a lifetime. Who on earth could survive or think even remotely straight if they were told about this horrible fact.
This is insane - I go from being the only child, the only offspring from some bitch who let me go, to someone who has a long-lost sister who just so happens to meet in the same place, and get together with each other. I can't accept that. That's absolutely crazy! I'm still trying to find my mother, but how the hell can I find her if I have absolutely no idea where to even start looking! And now I've got a father and a sister to find too?!
I SHOULDN'T BLOODY BELIEVE THIS KIND OF THING. I can't believe it! I don't! I'm a fucking scientist! I'm supposed to be studying science and believing in science, not magical things like reading palms and relying on such readings. I shouldn't be such an idiot, and yet...somehow, I am. How? Why can't I convince myself otherwise? I should be able to. Why can't I ever?
I feel almost unstable thinking about the fact that someone thought that, that was what I was destined to do. I can't even place my feelings in words, I'lll...you know, I don't know what I'll do, but whatever I need isn't on this kind of thing...bye.
Palmistry
I have a palmistry appointment in an hour! He's not too far away, so I'll be leaving in a few minutes. It's almost entertaining that I'm actually going through with this, I just think it's a funny thing that Jocasta would really enjoy. It would be awfully entertaining!
Friday, 17 January 2014
Ha!
I'm coming up with so many ideas of things to give to Jocasta for her birthday...from hiring insane clowns to giving her a funny prophecy for the future. I'm thinking about the latter, actually! We always jokingly talk about the funny things that we can do in life, and what better funny thing to do than a prophecy! Those things are never really true, anyways.
I've also been thinking a lot about asking her hand in marriage. I can relate it to the fake prophecy that I get to learn about the future! I'm actually really excited about this, you don't even understand it at all. I can go to the palmister, remember the prophecy that he gave me, and then go back home, take her out for dinner, tell her the funny prophecy, and then propose to her.
I've also been thinking a lot about asking her hand in marriage. I can relate it to the fake prophecy that I get to learn about the future! I'm actually really excited about this, you don't even understand it at all. I can go to the palmister, remember the prophecy that he gave me, and then go back home, take her out for dinner, tell her the funny prophecy, and then propose to her.
Wednesday, 15 January 2014
Writing Here
Me, Myself, and I:
I'm not really accustomed to writing in diaries often, but I thought I would give it a try (to write periodically) just because...I don't know, why not? It's proven to be helpful to release all your positive (and negative) thoughts and sometimes, I think that there are too many of them bottled inside of me. I've been talking to people who constantly tell me that they write in diaries rather often, just to release their thoughts. And I thought..why not?
I'm a little adamant about the future - about the future of Oedipus and I. We've been dating 4 years already, and I don't know whether that's enough time to push it further - and I don't think it is. And this is the only steady relationship I have ever been in, and I have absolutely no idea how to keep "steady" relationships. I've never really been in a "steady" relationship to tell anyone what it means, so I don't know how to proceed.
- Jocasta
I'm not really accustomed to writing in diaries often, but I thought I would give it a try (to write periodically) just because...I don't know, why not? It's proven to be helpful to release all your positive (and negative) thoughts and sometimes, I think that there are too many of them bottled inside of me. I've been talking to people who constantly tell me that they write in diaries rather often, just to release their thoughts. And I thought..why not?
I'm a little adamant about the future - about the future of Oedipus and I. We've been dating 4 years already, and I don't know whether that's enough time to push it further - and I don't think it is. And this is the only steady relationship I have ever been in, and I have absolutely no idea how to keep "steady" relationships. I've never really been in a "steady" relationship to tell anyone what it means, so I don't know how to proceed.
- Jocasta
Monday, 13 January 2014
Presents, Presents!
YOOHOOOO! So I'm back - because I can't get over how epic this whole thing is - it's a cool kind of way to get into this diary thing.
I've been thinking a lot more about love and marriage between Jocasta, and I'm thinking, is it too early to propose to her after 4 years of dating? She's already mentioned that she's about 4 years older, but no one knows for sure. No one knows my birth date for sure, even though it's those "modern ages." Haha, MODERN AGE and I don't even know the year I was born. I would have known, but the day I got put into the orphanage, the person just didn't put the date of entry. And the system crashed before they had a chance to back it up, so I don't really know how old I am for certain. But does age really matter? I've never really paid any attention to the age, I just always thought that we had the natural chemistry and always got along together. We think very similarly, which I think is wonderful...anyways, I'll let you know about them ideas, because I'd like to give her something special!
I've been thinking a lot more about love and marriage between Jocasta, and I'm thinking, is it too early to propose to her after 4 years of dating? She's already mentioned that she's about 4 years older, but no one knows for sure. No one knows my birth date for sure, even though it's those "modern ages." Haha, MODERN AGE and I don't even know the year I was born. I would have known, but the day I got put into the orphanage, the person just didn't put the date of entry. And the system crashed before they had a chance to back it up, so I don't really know how old I am for certain. But does age really matter? I've never really paid any attention to the age, I just always thought that we had the natural chemistry and always got along together. We think very similarly, which I think is wonderful...anyways, I'll let you know about them ideas, because I'd like to give her something special!
Friday, 10 January 2014
Hi!
Me, Myself, and I:
Sorry I haven't updated in months! I've just been really busy in preparing everything - there's just so much to do around the house and..just thought I would do a quick update about my life, considering I started writing in you like 4 months ago, but I feel like I should get my past out on paper or something.
Hello. Oedipus and I met about 4 years ago where he stopped me in a coffee shop to ask me out on a date. He was the first sweet guy I've met in ages - the kind of person that you're glad to meet and glad to know. I'm just going to say it outright, I'm about 4 years older than him. No one knows the exact number for sure just because no one knows his true birth year, but you know...age difference just don't really matter all that much, not to us at least. He's always treated me with the utmost respect and never pushed me, and that's all that matters.
I love socializing, I love partying, and I just love getting to know people in general. I'm a pretty avid climber, and I think that's kind of a nice thing to end the day with. Or start the day, either way, it works real nicely.
Anyways, I shall be off as I have stuff to do,
- Jocasta.
Sorry I haven't updated in months! I've just been really busy in preparing everything - there's just so much to do around the house and..just thought I would do a quick update about my life, considering I started writing in you like 4 months ago, but I feel like I should get my past out on paper or something.
Hello. Oedipus and I met about 4 years ago where he stopped me in a coffee shop to ask me out on a date. He was the first sweet guy I've met in ages - the kind of person that you're glad to meet and glad to know. I'm just going to say it outright, I'm about 4 years older than him. No one knows the exact number for sure just because no one knows his true birth year, but you know...age difference just don't really matter all that much, not to us at least. He's always treated me with the utmost respect and never pushed me, and that's all that matters.
I love socializing, I love partying, and I just love getting to know people in general. I'm a pretty avid climber, and I think that's kind of a nice thing to end the day with. Or start the day, either way, it works real nicely.
Anyways, I shall be off as I have stuff to do,
- Jocasta.
Wednesday, 8 January 2014
My Biography
Hello! So I'm Oedipus. You spell that as Eed-de-pus, not Ooo-eee-dip-ius, which I get a lot. You would never believe it...somehow turning into being called, like...some insane chemical name or something. This is just a quick little thing about who I am, what I do for a living, and really how life is. I'm new to this whole diary thing - I just never accepted the fact that writing in a paper book would ever help. I don't think my life story is interesting, but I feel like I should get it out..you know - like OUT and about! But I'm just not really sure...you know, how to start or anything - but I guess..HERE GOES!
I'm a biologist and I'm working for a cure for H1N1 - and we're about to make a really big breakthrough in the science research. It's testing now, but like....seriously, how many drugs go through after years and years? I mean, of course, there are the smalllll little things that go wrong, but what's the likelihood of EVERYTHING going wrong? Pretty small, eh? At least I hope so! I think my voice here is kind of strange...you know, I've never been accustomed to this kind of technology like things, and so updating my entire life story on this is a little bit scary. Hopefully some people will support me...
Anyways, a slight history about myself. So I was adopted and I've JOYFULLY moved through like, twenty seven families. Sorry. That seems impersonal - I did actually live with 27 families, it's not a lie. Some of them were all sweet and nice and some of them were just downright idiotic. One of them, the mother, she just kept beating me, and then the adoption agency and Child Services took me out thank god. I still have the cigarette scars all over my stomach and some deep scars on my back. She used to drink and smoke all the time, and when he was drunk, she would put out his cigarette on my stomach. If I refused, he would still - put it on my stomach forcefully and then make me strip my top and beat my on my back. Well, that's almost depressing but I've accepted it for a fact, so I'm not really sure what else I can do. I'm still looking for my birth mother though. I just think it would be SO great to be reunited with her. I don't know whether she would want to see me, considering she gave me up so long ago. But I wonder how she feels about the situation.
My friend suggested that I sign up for that thing - the thing where you can search up possible family members and find them. I forget what it's called something about ancestors or ancestry - THAT'S IT! ANCESTRY.COM. Ancestry and I signed up for it. I found someone who should be around the age my mother would have been - about 18 years older than me? From what I hear, she was 18 when she had me, and then she just kind of dumped me into the orphanage. But I wasn't adopted, so I just kept moving through foster families. I wonder whether she regrets it, you know? It's just kind of...different perspective to think about! I messaged the person, but I'm still waiting back on a response. Anyway, I have to start cooking dinner in time for Jocasta to come back home - so later!
I'm a biologist and I'm working for a cure for H1N1 - and we're about to make a really big breakthrough in the science research. It's testing now, but like....seriously, how many drugs go through after years and years? I mean, of course, there are the smalllll little things that go wrong, but what's the likelihood of EVERYTHING going wrong? Pretty small, eh? At least I hope so! I think my voice here is kind of strange...you know, I've never been accustomed to this kind of technology like things, and so updating my entire life story on this is a little bit scary. Hopefully some people will support me...
Anyways, a slight history about myself. So I was adopted and I've JOYFULLY moved through like, twenty seven families. Sorry. That seems impersonal - I did actually live with 27 families, it's not a lie. Some of them were all sweet and nice and some of them were just downright idiotic. One of them, the mother, she just kept beating me, and then the adoption agency and Child Services took me out thank god. I still have the cigarette scars all over my stomach and some deep scars on my back. She used to drink and smoke all the time, and when he was drunk, she would put out his cigarette on my stomach. If I refused, he would still - put it on my stomach forcefully and then make me strip my top and beat my on my back. Well, that's almost depressing but I've accepted it for a fact, so I'm not really sure what else I can do. I'm still looking for my birth mother though. I just think it would be SO great to be reunited with her. I don't know whether she would want to see me, considering she gave me up so long ago. But I wonder how she feels about the situation.
My friend suggested that I sign up for that thing - the thing where you can search up possible family members and find them. I forget what it's called something about ancestors or ancestry - THAT'S IT! ANCESTRY.COM. Ancestry and I signed up for it. I found someone who should be around the age my mother would have been - about 18 years older than me? From what I hear, she was 18 when she had me, and then she just kind of dumped me into the orphanage. But I wasn't adopted, so I just kept moving through foster families. I wonder whether she regrets it, you know? It's just kind of...different perspective to think about! I messaged the person, but I'm still waiting back on a response. Anyway, I have to start cooking dinner in time for Jocasta to come back home - so later!
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