Peaceful Blissfulness

It's who-knows how many months later, I didn't bother bringing a watch or anything that can keep track of time when I left. I'd rather not know.

I just can't believe that Jocasta is actually my [older] sister. How did I not notice that before? Scientists know that they're attracted to people who think alike, and we were so alike. We were able to live together but independently, and somehow,  I couldn't keep my side. Had I just given up the research in the stupid lab on her DNA, I would have never known and I never would have to find out. Then we wouldn't even be in this trouble. It was just all my fault. 

I'm in the mountains, now. I don't know where else to go, I just always found the mountainside relaxing. But that relaxation is really not getting to me right now. It should, but it isn't. Not even in the slightest. 

I've always thought that Jocasta was someone who I could talk to all the time. I never thought that she would betray me like that, but she didn't betray me. She just had absolutely no idea. Arguably, neither did I, but that doesn't make this whole situation okay. Nothing makes it okay...it just can't be "alright" any more. I don't even know how my relationship with Jocasta will be if I go home. She was always just the one person who understood things that were going on in my life. She was the one person who always understood. We'll see how it goes.....I'm off to bed now. I don't know what time it is, but it's getting dark and I'm getting sleepy.

And my mind keeps wandering back to the palmister, did he mean it? Was he suggesting something? I'm almost very sure it was, but I can't be sure - I can't be sure at all. I'm never sure when it comes to these kinds of things...part of me knows that the palmister wouldn't suggest something like that if he knew something. But the other part of me knows that he might not be all that trustworthy cause I haven't exactly known him that long. I don't know..

Maybe it doesn't even matter - since I've put my old life behind. I'm here - in the mountains, just peaceful and relaxing.

I don't know whether I'll go back. I don't know whether it will be days, months or years before I head back, but I'm not ready to face Jocasta or the palmister - not yet.

Night/Morning.